What are Autistic Meltdowns and How to Avoid Them

If you’re starting on your journey of researching Autism, whether because you think you might have Autism or because you know someone who does, you’ve probably heard about Autistic meltdowns. But, what is a meltdown? How can you recognize it in yourself or others? And, is it possible to avoid them?

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed mental health practitioner. Comments and suggestions below must not be interpreted as medical advice. These are musings that have helped me understand my meltdowns.

What is a meltdown?

A meltdown is a physical, emotional and metal reaction to an overstimulating, overwhelming and unbearable situation or environment. 

Causes

Anything that can stimulate the senses or emotions can cause a meltdown. Whether a meltdown happens or not will depend on how overstimulated the person is at the time. 

It is one thing to listen to someone screaming your name once. It is something completely different being out at a concert and having thousands of people screaming around you, touching you and having intense flashing lights in your face. The first scenario might be uncomfortable, but the second one can be triggering and cause a meltdown.

So, what triggers do you have to be conscious of, if you’re Autistic or caring for an Autistic person?

• Too much stress
• Rising anxiety levels
• Too many disruptive noises
• Feeling forced to eat non-safe food
• Having too much physical contact (like at family gatherings)
• Feeling lost while driving/hiking
• Changes in routines
• Poor sleep
• Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable

Symptoms

A meltdown occurs when there is too much physical or emotional stimuli for a person to manage. When the threshold is crossed and the person doesn’t have enough brain power to continue to deal with their surroundings, the brain shuts down partially. And while neurotypical (NT) and neurodivergent (ND) people alike can suffer from meltdowns, it is easier for ND people to reach that limit. 

When a person is going through a meltdown, they will display symptoms such as:

• Intense bouts of crying or anger
• Confusion
• Not talking (whether it is because they can’t or won’t)
• Causing harm to themselves
• Withdrawing 
• Pacing
• Stimming more than usual (rocking back and forth/flapping hands)
• Screaming
• Tight chest
• Hyperventilating and/or heavy breathing

Going by these symptoms it sounds like it could be scary to be around a person who is going through a meltdown. But, I can tell you that it is equally scary to actually go through one yourself.

What is *not* a meltdown?

Meltdown or burnout

Burnouts and meltdowns are not the same. Burnouts are more akin to exhaustion and fatigue due to prolonged stress. It varies symptoms such as depression, anxiety, fatigue, sleep problems, headaches and more. While a meltdown is more of an overwhelming and unbearable situation that you don’t know how to process.

Meltdown or tantrum

Neurotypical people often think that an Autistic meltdown is actually a temper tantrum, especially if it’s coming from an Autistic child. But, tantrums are an “unplanned outburst of anger and frustration” that is usually “disproportionate to the circumstances”, according to Cleveland Clinic. These relate to the child’s inability to express how they feel or what they want. 

In the case of meltdowns, there is no end goal. The Autistic person is not expecting to get something out of the situation. And the meltdown won’t stop simply by ignoring the Autistic person.

What can you do when someone else is going through a meltdown?

If you are in the company of someone who is starting to show signs of an imminent meltdown:

• Stay calm – your calming presence can help the other person co-regulate their emotions
• Don’t judge them – meltdowns can create feelings of inadequacy or shame in Autistic people
• Reassure them that you’re there in case they need anything
• Create a quiet and calm space for them
• Ask them yes or no questions – asking open ended questions might make the situation more stressful for the Autistic person as they might not be able to answer them

What happens after a meltdown?

Meltdowns can last from a couple of minutes to a couple of hours. Usually, after the person has calmed down, the exhaustion will set in. The brain had too much stimuli, too much input at the same time. And it will reach a point where the brain can’t take it anymore and the brain partially shuts down. The person might be able to talk again, but the processing capacity is diminished and the person needs rest.

How to recognize the early signs of meltdowns

If you are Autistic and are trying to reduce the amounts of meltdowns you suffer, let me tell you that you are off to a great start. Recognizing the triggers and symptoms is the only way to minimize, if not completely avoid, a meltdown.

When you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, a meltdown might be on the horizon and you should reduce the stressors or triggers. Before a meltdown you’ll feel:

• More anxious than normal
• Mental fog
• Desperation
• Uncomfortable 
• Increased stimming
• A sudden need to organize/clean

How to recognize and avoid triggers

Take a few minutes whenever you feel a bit more uncomfortable or anxious than “normal” and ask yourself:

• What is making me uncomfortable? If you can’t pinpoint it , consider these:
  • What would make me feel at peace or calm right now?
  • “I’d give anything for…” (silence? darkness? a soda? food?…)
• Can I stop it from happening?
• Can I stay in this situation for a couple more minutes or hours, or do I need to leave now?
• Is there someone around that can help me?

Of course, we don’t always feel like we have the time to sit and meditate as our minds are constantly rushing through thoughts. Sometimes we might want to make some time, but then our minds are entertained by other ideas.

Nevertheless , when you feel close to your breaking point, do take a couple of minutes from whatever it is you’re doing and meditate on these questions. At best it might help you get out of an overstimulating environment. At worst it might help you get closer to understanding your triggers and avoiding them in the future.

The idea is to become more self-aware of your triggers and what things overstimulate you. You won’t stop having meltdowns instantaneously. But, by putting in the work, being self-aware and understanding what are your triggers, you can hopefully start to limit them.

How to avoid an imminent meltdown

If you are at a point where you can recognize your triggers and you recognize that a meltdown might start soon:

• Escape the situation if possible
• Distract yourself with one of your special interest
• Close your eyes and/or wear earplugs to minimize the input you are receiving
• Take deep, calming breaths
• Think of pleasant things that make you feel good, like your favorite fuzzy shirt, kittens playing, your favorite food, walking on the beach, whatever works for you
• Use a fidget toy
• Tidy up the place (if you are in your own home)
• Call a friend or a mental health professional

Putting in the work to recognize your triggers and have a plan of action ready for when you feel yourself become overstimulated is hard work. It won’t happen miraculously one day. You have to take time to think about uncomfortable situations and how to avoid them. But, I believe, that if you take the time, everyday life can become more manageable.

More info

For a more medical and scientific approach to meltdowns head over to Reframing Autism, a charity by Autistic people, for Autistic people, with a focus on teaching the Autistic perspective.